It's My Birthday!
…and I’ll eat cake if I want to!
Holy Sh*t I’m 30. And I am….. SO excited about it!!!
Perhaps I’m putting too much pressure on the idea that your thirties are when “things” really start to happen. I’ve heard entering your thirties is just so awesome; you are more sure of yourself and almost entirely comfortable with who you have developed into as a person, more in tune with what you want out of life. The men and women that have all preached this to me are all in their thirties and forties, and quite honestly - crushing it - so I believe what them! And to their point, I can confidently say that even in the last week my outlook on what I want out of life has completely changed - which is kind of weird but also such a relief because it totally makes sense now.
Yesterday morning I was lying in bed with some serious cramps (thank you for my birthday present uterus of no “surprise”) and I went down this little rabbit hole of my instagram. Has anyone else done this? I just scrolled aaaallllll the way back to 2012 when I first started my IG page @oliviadeanne. Scrolling through every crazy hair cut and color — and concluded that my favorite was grape-purple. My evolution of style which varied from cute girl with long blonde hair to total tomboy with a buzz cut and - again my favorite - purple bob’d hair while all decked-out in vintage from the shops that I used to live behind off of Brick Lane. There was the photo documentary of lovers past. I have to pat myself on the back for this one, apparently I was very selective as to which beau’s made the instagram. Not all of them made the feed you guys! Only three! In nine years! Four now for the fiancé - haaaay! The traveling was a fun theme. Cities explored both with friends and solo-style. I could actually smell the rain in Australia when dancing at Hot Dub Wine Machine with one of my closest friends in 2017 and taste the ice cream I feverishly consumed while sunbathing - European style and solo - under a bold sun on the beach in Palma De Mallorca, 2012.
All of these memories of my twenties; they were embarrassing, hilarious, wonderful, painful, exhilarating, bold, some will be written in the memoir while other are coming with me to the grave. Sadness also resurfaced when I would pass by certain pictures, with a little dose heartache. I’m sure I’m not alone here - but I went through a two to three year period in my mid-twenties where I was seriously unaware of my self-worth. I was hard on my body, with respect to treating her as a temple and honoring how strong and beautiful she was. Dealing with body dysmorphia when I was in the peak of my physical health, (I talk about that in another article). My deeper internal struggles with relationships were completely blocked out as a defense mechanism and I made some regrettable decisions. I really didn’t understand that I was talented, pretty, funny and smart. Sounds so basic - but I assure you very real - I was surprisingly sad and tried desperately to be all of these “things” when I already was. In hindsight, I am grateful now for those lessons because at least they are behind me and I’ve grown significantly in a way that I don’t think I would have had there not been those tumultuous nights! Now I get to enter the dirty-flirty-thirty unhinged and confident with where my morals and values lie. Phew! Only took an entire decade. *Insert eye roll*
As my fiancé put the blindfold on me and took me away for a long weekend retreat to the beach, I donned a very subtle (yeah right) tiara that had a big 3-0 in the middle. The girls working the ice cream shop exclaimed, “No way you are 30! You look like you’re 25!” We did give them an extra-large tip but I will stick to my story that it was a totally genuine comment. Drinking a pitcher of beer we hammered away at crabs with our fingers drenched in melted butter. He took me to “Funland” where we rode the merry-go-round and Gravitron, as the only adults without a child in hand. We laughed all night and had all-the-fun that was totally uninhibited and the whole while looking at each other and saying, this is thirty!
Age really is just a concept isn’t it? As our societal ideas of life trajectory evolve and shift, a birthday is such a wonderful reminder of how life is meant to be enjoyed! It is an absolute necessity! Years fade more quickly than the last and if you don’t stop to take a huge breath and look around at where you are, one can easily focus on the age-number and “where we are meant to be”. Forgetting the purpose of life itself and our daily practice of honoring our time here.
For the past five years, I’ve done an IG post on my birthday and along with the daily selfie I type a little list of “things I’ve learned this year”. This feels like the right time to sum it up for us all I think?!
You can’t control the journey you’re on, if you try - it will lead you to great disappointment.
When the door slams in your face and the window is bolted shut and all you have is the little doggy door to squeeze and crawl through - get to it because what’s outside will always be worth the discomfort.
Your intuition is the strongest voice or “thing” that can guide you.
Believe in LOVE! Believe in Love at first sight because it is a REAL thing.
Once an Amazon — Always an Amazon.
Spread kindness to the world every day because it will always come back to you.
Educate yourself every day. Read. Learn.
HUSTLE. HARD.
Stay open to opportunities because you never know what the day can present to you.
Never take your family and friends for granted because you will need their support when you least expect it or when they will no longer be with you.
Having an ass is a fabulous thing.
Happiness is a state of mind you CHOOSE by incorporating into your life what truly fulfills you.
Now to add on to the list….
If you are an artist and you have an idea - ACT ON IT. Do not wait. Do not listen to excuses. You can always find a way to bring your ideas to fruition. It’s simple truth.
Self belief is so incredibly important in life. Just - believe - every day.
Be one with your finances. I read You Are A Bad Ass at Making Money by Jen Sincero, and in one of the chapters she goes on about giving your money a name so that you build a relationship with it. My moneys name is Donatella. I just imagine her dressed in all green talking to me with a thick Italian accent and it makes the reality of saving and paying bills way more fun because Donatella is just way too fabulous to be scary.
When the right person comes into your life. When your life partner finds you and you find them… You know. Oh my god you just know. It’s easy, there’s no drama, there’s no forcing, there’s no questions. You simply know in your gut.
Speaking of forcing… Don’t force anything. Ever. Feeling forced to buy something? Not for you. Someone forcing you to feel something? Not to be trusted. Feeling forced to keep something or someone in your life? It’s taking up the space of what is really meant to be there! Gotta let it go. Nothing meant to happen will be FORCED.
Everyone has something that holds them back to reaching the highest version of themselves. Through much spiritual work, I learned that mine is “security”. I’m always afraid about having money in my bank account, paying my bills, a roof over my head, and a safe income. Yes - this does seem quite obvious - like duh everyone needs all of these things every day. But I learned that this heightened fear has held me back significantly. Because in order to step into this higher power, I must release the fears that I can only do one thing to make money. That I am limited. That my paychecks can only reach a certain number. If I continued to let that fear sit in the drivers seat, I would not have started up Hussey Notes again and made it so public. I have big goals for this little blog and in order for them to manifest, I’m ditching the ol’ fears people! Please hold me to it!!!
And how I have finished off every birthday list… I will say again: I am writing all of these down as reminders for myself to take into my next year!
Comment below, write to me, DM Hussey Notes: What did you learn at 30? What from this list resonates with you? What fear do you have that’s holding you back to what could be an even-more-fabulous-you at your next birthday? I eagerly await reading from my fellow Husseys as I take the weekend to celebrate what is going to be an adventure filled thirtieth year. And THANK YOU for reading this far <3
